I should start off with introductions. I am Amanda, a pediatrician in her 40's going through a stressful time in my life. I was obese, fatigued, chronically dehydrated, dealing with other health issues, dealing with family stressors, etc. A few weeks ago, I, perhaps like you, was looking for a way forward, a starting point, motivation, or a divine intervention.
I have been suffering from the effects of a Traumatic 🧠 Injury (TBI) since December 2018. Since my injury my life has been turned 180 degrees from a workaholic burning the candle at both ends to this person who became a bit of a hot mess. I struggled with many things and have realized the hardest part of all was the loss of my identity. I can no longer be the multitasking, on the go doc/supervisor/mom/wife/caregiver/friend/sounding board/do it all people pleaser. If I do too much, I get migraines. If I move too fast, I get off balance. I have trouble concentrating and am now suffering from post concussive concentration issues that ADHD meds do not help (I tried...multiple). I had initially been pretty depressed but with the help of family, friends, health providers, and some amazing psychologists, I am much better. I began working toward doing some physical activity and was improving. With appropriate meds my migraines decreased to less than 5 a month. This was a HUGE improvement from having one daily for the first 8 months after my fall. Well, I guess not EVERY day. I did have 2 headache free days. Seriously! I looked back at the headache diaries my neurologist had me keeping. So, I was much better and even up to seeing 5 patients one afternoon a week. Then COVID came swooping in like a hurricane and blew me off the wagon.
COVID was both a blessing and a curse. It made it difficult to continue on the course I had set, however it allowed me to work in a less stressful environment. I learned that telehealth was something I can more easily tolerate. Unfortunately, I am in the military and I need to be able to do more. As the need for my assistance came to a close as COVID operations were moved to on site clinics, I began to worry about my future...again. As I await the military decision on whether I am fit for duty, I have been again left to sit and stew in my own thoughts. This is not a good place for me. I decided it was time to stop playing the poor pitiful me game and take charge of my life. This blog is part of my HOT MESS to WELLNESS journey. I hope sharing my story with others will assist in my journey. Having accountability is always helpful.
I actually started my journey a few weeks ago, but this whole blog thing is new to me so getting a late start. 🤷♀️
Please join my quasi support group and comment if you would like to join me and need a little accountability yourself.